I Feel Better

"Why won't someone take a couple seconds just to tell me that I'm not just another face, or that if I were to die today that someone would care. Why can, they only say mean things. I know that I'm fat and ugly, and I don't need you to remind me. Just make me feel special. Make me feel loved." -Samantha Winkler

Well, welcome back everyone! How was your first Monday of the New Year? Ha, my Monday was pretty awesome! Getting to see my Choir "family" is always a fun time! Singing is my passion, and I'm glad to say that thanks to being in Choir over these past three years, I've improved a lot.
Now I'm not saying I'm perfect or anything, but I've gotten pretty good at some things in it. I'm still the same in my courage though! I don't know what it is about singing in front of people, like as a soloist, that I can't do without having a mini-seizure.

Anyways! Please don't think that just from the quote above, that I am in a depressed mood, or that I feel unloved. I feel plenty loved by all of my friends, family, and those that I meet every day! It's just... *sigh* I'm done.
I am completely done with being used. With being mistreated because I'm "too nice". I. AM. DONE.
Good, now that I've got that off my chest, we can get back to business!
So, as some of you may know, I gave my handwritten poem to my best friend Autumn, to give to Taylor. Little did I know, that my no-longer-friend Zack, had asked out Taylor! So, I had asked Autumn this morning to give me all the details of how Taylor reacted when she read the poem, when she got on the bus for the ride home.
As soon as I went to sit next to Autumn, I noticed she didn't look anywhere near as happy as she had the previous two days. I didn't ask her how Taylor reacted, but instead sat there, and got bugged by the kids sitting behind us. Autumn basically... started crying.
Do you have ANY idea how much seeing a girl cry just hurts your soul? I mean, I wasn't the cause of it, but I still felt terrible about it. She faced the window, and I didn't want to do anything weird... so, all I remember doing was patting her shoulder comfortingly, and telling her that I'm always there for her. After saying that... she sort of laid her head on my shoulder for a little while. I... kind of liked that.
After a little while longer, she told me all about Zack asking out Taylor, Taylor saying yes, and how I have permission to kick Zack's a**.
Again, me feeling like such an idiot... feeling used for a minute there... and just done with some people, I made a choice. I like Autumn, I TOLD her I liked her before today, I know she's single, and I thought to myself, "Autumn is a great person... she's a lot more mature than most girls even MY age... maybe... No, she wouldn't... she doesn't even like me that way... or maybe... I don't know... She's way out of my league though... JUST GET IT OVER WITH!" Yeah, that thought went through my head repeatedly.
I finally decided, after about half an hour of sitting there without saying much, that I would ask Autumn if she would be my girlfriend. So, I eventually grew the courage and said something along the lines of, "Autumn... Autumn... Autumn. *she finally noticed me saying her name* Hey, I know this might seem awkward because of the whole thing with Taylor and Zack right now but... *sigh* Would you be... my girlfriend?"
I expected to get completely shut down because of the current circumstances, but... to my amazement, I didn't get shut down. Autumn replayed after a few seconds of thinking with a "Maybe".
I was COMPLETELY taken aback by it at first, but... I just smiled and was like, "Alright.".
So yeah! Today went from complete crap mood, to actually very happy!* (*as of the time this was posted)

Song-of-the-Day: I Feel Better by GotyeThe song title just says it all, doesn't it?
"There was a time I was down, down
I didn't know what to do
I was just stumbling around, around
Thinking things could not improve
I couldn't look on the bright side
Of anything at all
That's when you gave me a call

Now I feel better, better, better than before
I feel better, better, better, now I'm not down any more

And there were times I was sure, so sure
I couldn't turn it around
I couldn't care any more
About the good things I found
That's when you gave me a reason
To make me smile again
I only have to see you and then

I feel better, better, better than before
I feel better, better, better, now I'm not down any more."Just... look at those, and understand the meaning behind each line.

Shout-Outs-of-the-Day: Autumn Jephson, Alex Hammond, and Naomi Black
Autumn: Yes, I know... I'm a goof, and I probably seem really weird after letting you read that poem, and then letting you deliver it... and then asking you out?! Yeah... but hey, I'm just happy to have an amazing friend like you that I can cry with, and not feel dumb about it. You're great, thanks for being there for me on the bus, and hey! Any time you need someone, give me a call, or something!
Alex: Thanks, bro! You and Na-Na are amazing! Y'all invited me to go with you to the Concert thing tonight, and we had one heck of a time! IT. WAS. AWESOME! Just thanks for being one of the best brothers I could have ever wished for!
Naomi: Ha, you are just hilarious, Naomi! Believe me, I don't think anything different of you because of what we say! What gets said in the car, stays in the car, trust me! Ha, you're hilarious, adorable, and just awesome. Thanks for being one of the best sisters I could have ever asked for!

Well, that concludes it for tonight! Thank you everyone for reading this drivel again! I appreciate you all, and love you all!
SO AS ALWAYS, HAVE NICE DAY!