I Believe That My Heart Is A Stereo

Merry Christmas everyone, and welcome to the 20th post! Thank you all for reading it, and thank you all for making me so happy.
Now, as a popular song says in the lyrics:
"My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-oh-ote

Make me your radio
And turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo."
I only take that section of the song, because those are some of the only words in that song that make a meaningful impact in my life. I kind of interpret it as saying, "My feelings are openly expressed. They're said to you, so please listen close. Hear my thoughts in every word. Make me your backup. You can talk to me when you're down. All I say was meant for you. Just feel the same as I do too."
Yeah, something along those lines. But yeah, that song kept playing today of all days, and no matter which of my stations I turned it to, that song would pop up!
Maybe it's because I'm not single anymore? Maybe it's because it's just a great song? Or maybe it's just a coincidence? Ha, I don't believe in coincidences though. Everything happens for a reason. Some people don't believe that, but it's true.
God has a purpose behind all the things that happen in the world. Now, don't get mad at him, or anything. It's all part of his plan to get us to live with him again.

Ha, anyways... Yeah, I'm betting some of you are noticing that I said I'm not single anymore, and questioning it. Yes, it's true. I have a girlfriend now. She's a 14-year old named Taylor. Me and her have actually kind of liked each other for a while now. There was a football game a couple months back, and we both went, by chance. She didn't have a blanket, and it was freezing that night. I was really warm, and opened my arms to take off the blanket. Instantly, she hugged me, and was all like, "OH MY GOSH, YOU'RE SO WARM!".
Ha, well yes, I was ridiculously warm, and so as not to be rude, I kept snuggling in that blanket with her for pretty much the whole game. It was at this point that I realized that me and Taylor probably looked like we were dating. Again, I realized that I didn't much care what people thought, so I kept on hugging her. I kept thinking to myself, me and her could kiss right now, and I wouldn't mind. We never did kiss, but that thought has stayed with me for all this time.
So yeah, that's just a little background to how it happened.

Song-of-the-Day: Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes (feat. Adam Levine): Well, I'd hope it makes sense WHY I chose this song. It keeps playing, in my head, in real life, and just everywhere. Ha, I just really like this song.

Shout-Out(s)-of-the-Day: Katie Salvo, Taylor Sorg, Chelsea Moore:
Katie: I'm glad to have someone so brilliant as you in my life. You are one of the most important people in my life, and I don't know where I would be today if I didn't have you to talk to.
Thanks for being true to who you are, and not faking yourself for people's pleasure. Have a wonderful Christmas day!
Taylor: Thank you for thinking of that day, today. Thank you for asking me if I wouldn't mind maybe starting something with you. I'm very happy to be your boyfriend, and happy to call you my girlfriend. (:
I hope you have a wonderful rest of your Christmas, and that you can Christ there with you, throughout your trials. <3 I love you.
Chelsea: I hope you know how much I really care about our friendship. We agree on so much, and yet we fight about some things. You're a lot smarter than people give you credit for. You understand a lot more than I did when I was your age, two years ago. Stay strong, my dear, and keep calm.
Have a wonderful Christmas. (:

Especially for today. HAVE A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS, AND HAVE A NICE DAY!

Is It Too Late to Apologize?

Welcome everyone. First off, sorry that I haven't posted in a few days. I needed some time to myself, so I wouldn't sit here and blow off my steam on you guys. I spent these past few days getting to know myself better, learning some things about control and understanding, and simply trying to get over my issues. I've turned myself more towards the Lord, and towards Christ, in these times of trial. Insomuch, that I feel the spirit in my house, no matter what I'm doing.
My sister left for her mission Wednesday, and I'm still trying to get used to it. I continue to glance at the door, or glance towards the couch where she would sleep. Of course I know she'll not be there for another year and a half, at least, but I can't help looking, just in case I was dreaming the whole time. Just in case it might have been a big joke to make me miss her. I guess I'm just having a hard time adjusting to the sudden emptiness in my house.

So, as some people may already know, I'm letting go. Not even kidding anymore. I'm completely and utterly letting go of all that I thought would keep me happy forever. Thanks to recent enlightenment by friends, I realize I'm a major idiot, a major screw-up, and just plain stupid sometimes. I went through a day of depression, and that's what ate up one of these past few days of blank nothing. But after that day, thanks to some of the best friends I have, whom shall be named in a minute, I got up "off the ground", so to speak. They introduced me to a couple of new groups, like Mayday Parade and He Is We. I actually REALLY like those groups! And my wonderful friends are Autumn Jephson and Miranda Dahl. Ha, even though Autumn didn't show me any music, she always talks to me and makes me laugh at random stupid stuff in every day life. Miranda showed me all that music, so she claims the most praise out of the two, I suppose.
Ha, I love just trying to make Randa laugh and smile at random stuff. It's like, the other day, we had an hour of lunch. And I had nothing to do, so I went to the auditorium(which is officially locked to everyone not in Troyplairs). I knocked on the door, and just as I did so, Jori and Jarrod walked up. Jori said that on behalf of the council I was invited to have lunch with them. SO I GET IN! *insert Freddie Mercury meme* Anyways, so Randa was out in her car and craving some hot chocolate. They usually sell hot chocolate during lunch, so as soon as I saw that on Facebook, I told Jori to comment that I was on my way. Jori lent me a dollar, because I didn't have one.
I run out of the auditorium expecting to buy it, and what do you know, THE STORE IS CLOSED. I was like, "Gosh dang it". So I walk back in the auditorium and tell Jori the news so she could tell Miranda. Randa was all bummed and stuff, but she understood. xD Oh how I love the things I do at that school.

So... I learned a lot of things over the course of the past few days. Most of which are a bit personal, and invoke this sudden feeling in people to make me feel special. Because I felt like a complete loser, BUT I'm over that now.

Songs-of-the-Day: OneRepublic Medley by KurtHugoSchneider Most people probably don't know about this song collage. It's just one guy singing several songs by OneRepublic in one sitting. He's actually very good, and I absolutely love the way he did his rendition of each song.

Shout-Out(s)-of-the-Day: Miranda Lyn Dahl, and Autumn Jephson.
Miranda: Ha, you know I really appreciate everything that you do for me. We talk so much nowadays, it's like, not even funny anymore. We have our Q&A sessions, and learn a lot of random stuff about each other. We talk about personal crap with each other. Nothing TOO personal, but stuff that we wouldn't tell everyone else. I think you know me best out of most of my other friends right now. Thank you for introducing me to He Is We and Mayday Parade. Their music really saves my life, as it did yours. I can't even express my full thanks in just words. I owe you more than just one. xD
Autumn: Ha, you're awesome Autumn. You're beautiful, and you don't even care to notice most of the time. We're both just single people, and somewhat stranger than the average person on our bus. Ha, you already know how I feel... and you know how hard it is for me to act upon what I feel, for fear of ruining it all.
Think about what I asked you. (: I wasn't even kidding. I was totally serious.

So, as always, HAVE A NICE DAY!

End of the Week

Well, it's yet another wonderful Friday! Ha, I hope everyone is having a wonderful day! I know I did! ;D
Ha, such a great Friday. I was in my tuxedo all day, and it felt okay. It gave me some grief during lunch, because we had over an hour of lunch! Ha, I just held Kat's hand all throughout the assembly today, and all throughout lunch pretty much. I'm kind of worried about her. For the past week or two, she's been slowly getting this sort of arthritis-based nodule on her ring-finger on both her hands.
It was wonderful, we had a small kiss when I dropped her off at her 4th Hour. After that, I went to my Biology class. We went to the English lab, which is on the OPPOSITE side of the school, compared to the normal classroom.
So when class was over, I walked up behind her, and gave her this big hug from behind. (: She was so surprised and nearly fell over. I caught her, and then we hugged for a minute there. Again, she decides she's going to take me home, so I agree, because I had to. So we held hands the whole time she drove me again. As we get to my house, I notice that I'm home alone again. I didn't mention anything, because that could've led to some seriously bad stuff. We say goodbye, and have another one of those repeated triple-kisses. (: Oh my goodness, for some reason those kinds of kisses feel so... good. They're just, so epic, it's ridiculous. (:
Love you, Kitty. Thanks for starting this with me again, you have no idea how happy I am now because of it.

Song-of-the-Day: Wanted by Hunter Hayes: I don't why I keep listening to this song. FIRST OFF, I'm not the biggest country fan, as of yet. I think it may be growing on me, after all this time. Ha, maybe because I was singing this song when me and Kat kissed the triple-kiss for the first time. Maybe that memory is just stuck in my memory. Ha, yeah, that makes sense.

Shout-out-of-the-Day:Rebekah Phillips: Thank you so much for being the supportive best friend I've always wanted, needed, loved, etc.. You get my point. You're so amazing, and I'm glad that Dawson has someone so perfect as you in his life. "Wherever we grow, we grow together. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, whichever way.

AND AS ALWAYS, HAVE NICE DAY!

Best Day IN School

Oh my goodness! Welcome back everyone!
Today has been absolutely wonderful! One of the best days I've had inside of school, and another bonus, I'm EXTREMELY tired. Even with all the stress and tiredness I was having because of the choir performances we've had this past week. I've had SIX(eight if you count all performances at Salt Lake) performances in the past week, and it's absolutely ridiculous.
Performances:1: December 6th, 2012 - As the Troylairs we sang for the Broulim's Christmas Party, and I think we actually did rather nice. A little pitch problems on specific sections of Twas The Night Before Christmas, our longest song. It's 32 pages long!
2, 3, and 4: December 7th, 2012 - As the Troylairs group once again, we headed off to Salt Lake City to sing in the prestigious Temple Square. First we sang at The Church Office Building, then The Joseph Smith Memorial Building, and then finally at the end of the day we sang at The Assembly Hall(or as Alex calls it, the Jewish Building).
5: December 8th, 2012 - (finally a solo moment) I had Mr. RHS, which is basically the equivalent of a beauty pageant for guys. We had Mr. RHS, Mr. Fitness, Mr. Sensitivity, etc.. That night, I won the Mr. Sweetheart award, which I was quite surprised I even won anything.
6: December 9th, 2012 - In my stake, we had a Stake Conference, and I am part of the Stake Choir. We sang a few songs for the meeting, and that was really stressing me out.
7: December 12th, 2012 - Again, as the Troylairs group, we had our official Christmas concert for all to come and see. I think we did a lot better last night, than we did at a couple of our Salt Lake performances.
And last but not least, 8: It may not have been the most important performance, but we were asked to sing in front of the School District Officials. I arrived a little late, due to unknown circumstances.

Ha, yeah, all those performances were starting to really stress me out.
But anyways, onto the title's purpose. Today was just absolutely wonderful! So, as some of you may know, I've been starting to hang out with Catherine, or Katherine as some of us know her by. I walk with her during lunch, take care of her whenever she starts to have a diabetic crash, and carry her bags. It started a couple of days ago, but me and her starting holding hands in the hall while we walked. At first, I thought it was just her doing it because it felt natural to her. But then after school, I was walking her out of Women's Chorus and we headed for her locker. She then is like, "Well, I would tell you to go to the bus, but I'm taking you home! I'm not taking no for an answer!" Ha, so I really didn't think much of it. As we get in the car and start driving, we start holding hands and again I think nothing of it. But as we get to my house, we sit in the car for a minute, and as I'm getting out, she makes a bit of a sound like, "Hmm." I turn around to ask if she said anything, and all I saw was her waving me toward her. So, I leaned in, we put our heads together, turned our heads, and then kissed once. I then give her a bit of a strange hug, and then we just wave goodbye.
And then for the District performance, I called and asked if she wanted to take me and watch us sing. SO, she comes to my house, picks me up, and we go. After the performance was over, she gave me a big hug, and we had a small kiss there too.
As we arrive at my house, after the performance, I'm just sitting in the car, and guess what song comes on the radio? Wanted by Hunter Hayes. Uh-huh! And so I started singing it, and I glanced over at her, and she was smiling pretty big. I started to lean in, and we kissed again, and again, and again. NO, IT WAS NOT MAKING OUT. There was NO tongue involved. It was like three kisses right after each other.
I give her a big hug, then get out of the car and walk up to my door slowly. I glance back, and we wave again.
Yep, that pretty much made my entire day, week, high school year, whatever! It was just so many sparks flying in that car.

Song-of-the-Day: Wanted by Hunter Hayes: You can probably guess why. xD

Shout-Out-of-the-Day: Miranda Lyn Dahl: Ha, you're amazing, Randa dear. Thanks for starting our new hand shake, and always smiling and waving at me when we pass each other in the hall. I appreciate it.

SO AS ALWAYS, HAVE A NICE DAY!

First Time at a Theater in FOREVER

Good evening, readers! It's yet another week, to start off! The final full week before my sister leaves for at least a year and a half. I'm so proud of her, and I'm sad that I don't say that enough.
She leaves on Wednesday, the 19th, of next week. I'm so grateful for the time we have left.
So, last night, she took me to see the movie, Pitch Perfect. OH MY GOSH, this movie is amazing. I dare not say anymore, for the fear of revealing something crucial.
It was just, so amazing. It's my new favorite movie! Such great skills they use in their singing...

ANYWAYS! I'm going to cut it a bit short, because I have a concert on Wednesday for Choir! I need to rest my voice, because I've been coughing really bad lately.

Songs-of-the-Day: Titanium(David Guetta), Just the Way You Are(Bruno Mars), Locked Out Of Heaven(Bruno Mars), Beauty and a Beat(Justin Bieber), The Scientist(Coldplay).
Titanium: This song has been on my mind CONSTANTLY for the past 7 months and 10 days, approximately, due to circumstances.
JtWYA: One of those love songs I'll sing to Rebekah whenever I feel like it, I guess. She's perfect to me, no matter what state she's in.
LOoH: Sometimes, this is how I feel. Like I'm locked out of what I feel is my eternal obligation. What I feel is my version of heaven. I miss those days, where I would feel warm, safe, and secure when I was around her. Come back to me again, soon, please? I'm dying without your security...
BaaB: Seems like an interesting choice, perhaps? I don't hate the Biebs, unlike much of the male population. I may not enjoy all of his music, but that's only because it's not always my style of music! He's an okay guy, and I can respect him, personally.
The Scientist: I've always loved Coldplay, and this song keeps clogging up my Spotify suggestions. (:

Shout-Out(s)-of-The-Day: Rebekah Phillips, Chelsea Moon, Katherine French
Rebekah P.: I love you, dear. I always will! You're always on my mind, and I hope you're having some of the greatest experiences you can at your last year of the Junior High. So much has been left unsaid, due to the aca-awkwardness I could impose by saying it. You know how I feel, and you know I trust you with basically everything. The only thing I need to know, is if I should keep hoping, or if I should give up? Should I believe that I can once again be your one and only, or should I let that hope die? Should I just let this love, somehow go dormant? For wherever thou goest, I goest with thee. Unless thy will, is to journey accompanied by someone else.
As I have said before, I am forever yours. I'm your werewolf knight in vigil, as I wait for thee.
Chelsea: Well, we may not be that close of friends. But I can still rely on you when it comes to some of my personal dealings. Like, on the bus, when I came to you and talked about my whole situation with why I was crying. You understood me, and did your best to make me feel better about it all. Thanks for that, dear.
Katherine, Frenchie Fry: Ha, I still remember when I used to call you that all that time. Thank you so much for always being nice to me, and always relying on me for moral support. I'm always here for you too, Fry. Thanks for being my warming support during this school year. I really need it, and you really are one of the best friends I've had in a while. Thanks to you, I got to become better friends with Alex. When I first met him, I mentioned you and I were friends and he actually told me, "Oh dude, you're like my best friend now! I love Kat, she's like my best friend, dude." Ha, you're a great person to be around, most days.
Love you, Kitty.

AND AS ALWAYS, HAVE NICE DAY!

The Salt Lake Trip

Hello again, everyone. (warning: This will seem a little bit boring, and different today) I apologize now, because we got home at 12:25 and I didn't sleep till like 1:30 A.M..
So yesterday, as the Troylairs, we all went to Salt Lake and sang.
It was a lot of fun, actually. It was my first trip with the Choirs actually. It was an extremely great experience for many of us. We performed 3 times. Once at the Church Office Building, then at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building, and then finally at the Assembly Hall. We performed at the Church Office Building, I think around 1:00 or 1:30ish. I wasn't quite sure, because I didn't check the time. It went okay on some songs, but we weren't quite ready it seems.
Our second performance at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building went a lot better, but we were still a bit lacking in our preparedness. I think the only that could've been fixed was our energy. Some of us seemed a bit dead or something.
After that, we had about 4 hours to go and eat, see other groups perform, or just walk around Temple Square. First, I grouped up with my friends Alex, Naomi, Nick, Brian, Amber, and Grant. We headed over to the food court in the new mall, City Creek Mall. Man, that place is HUGE. It's really nice though, and I'm glad the Church decided to build it. It brings so much business to the Salt Lake area. Alex suggested that I go try out this Chinese place that was on the other end of the food court called Chang Chun. So, I did! Little did I know, this place is pretty much like Panda Express. You order either one entree or two and ask for either rice or chow mein noodles. It was actually really good for the price of about 6 dollars. And Alex was so nice! I didn't get a drink with my food, because the price wasn't worth the size of the cup I would've gotten. And he shared his cup with me. He was done with it, and he said I could use it and get a refill. Man, he's just such a nice guy. I mean, sure, we piss each other off sometimes, but we're like brothers. (:
And then I went to this place called Roxberry's, and got a smoothie. It made me laugh because it was called LOL Lime, and it basically consists of Raspberry Juice, Strawberries, Raspberries and Lime Sherbet.
Oh my goodness, it was DELICIOUS and healthy! :D
After that, we all went wandering around the area and decided to go to the Conference Center and get a tour. I've never been in there before, and oh my goodness that place is beautiful. I can't even put into words all the wonderful things we saw. It's just so wonderful, and such a wonderful place to feel the spirit in.
And then we all headed to the Assembly Hall because it was getting about time to start preparing to sing there and end the night. I have to admit our third and final performance was a lot better than our first two.
So, after that, we quickly shuffled out, and headed for the buses which were just around the corner. Ha, we were getting changed and Burrows walks on the bus saying, "You know we can see you guys changing outside, right?" Oh my gosh, I was like, CRAP. Ha, I instantly dropped down low, and then finished changing what I hadn't already. Thank goodness I hadn't changed anything embarrassing. After that, we had to bail out and sit outside for a while, so the girls could change.
After they changed and stuff, I shuffled back on the bus, and had to move my stuff since the bus ride back had a new rule, "No sitting next to someone of the opposite sex." I sat next to Alex on the way back, and Naomi and Amber sat behind us. There was an empty seat about 2 steps up and to the right. After a little while I left Alex with Naomi and went to sit in the empty seat. I picked up my iPod and popped in both ear buds. I didn't really want to be bothered at the time. After a while, I got bored of just Gangnam Style and Dubstep music, so I switched over to the playlist called J+R, because I was in that mood. It eventually got to the song Marry You by Bruno Mars. And then I started scrolling through my pictures and kept coming across pictures I have of Rebekah... and it became too much for me at that time. I slumped over and put my face in the seat and started to cry heavily. At this time, I didn't think anyone would care. Usually when I cry at school, or on school events, no one notices. But apparently my friend Alex saw it, and so told his girlfriend, Naomi to come and comfort me. I'm just sitting there, and all of a sudden I'm getting hugged by her. She was just being a comforting friend, and it really helped. Now I know why Alex decided to ask you out last night.

I just sat there for a little while, blubbering like an idiot... crying. And oh yeah, getting stared at by everyone in front of us who misunderstood it for a while. Thank you so much, Naomi. It really helped, and thank you so much Alex, for getting her over to me.
I just fell asleep after that, and tried not to have another episode. It's the first time that I've ever had one in public where people actually noticed and took action.

Song(s)-Of-The-Day:
Gangnam Style: This song has gone so viral, and it's ridiculous. I had Mr. RHS tonight and this is the song I did for my talent.

Shoutouts-Of-The-Day:Naomi Black: Thank you so much, dear, for being my emotional support during that time of hardship. I really appreciate the help with that. Your like my sister, and I love it. You and Alex deserve one another, you guys are so cute together.
Alexander Hammond: Alex, thank you so much for being another emotional support for me. Your my brother, and you really are genuine when you say you care. Thanks for the drink, thanks for the fun experience, and thank you for everything. I love you, bro.

Fighting Off The Natural Impulses

Sorry, I really meant to do this on Monday, but let's just say that a lot has happened, and I'm not exactly sure how to say how I feel right now. I'll put it into simple words, I'm at my emotional peak, and going to break soon.
Monday: I got my new schedule for Second Trimester and I have to admit I like it.
1st Hour: Seminary! :D
2nd Hour: Troylairs! :D
3rd Hour: AlgebraII B!
4th Hour: Nutrition and Foods! YUM!
5th Hour: Biology A! (Mrs. Gilbert is SO nice)
(this is the rest of the week below this point)
1st Hour: I have to admit, it's the first class, so I'm usually really tired, BUT since this week I've had "Mr. RHS" I've gotten used to waking up early. Little did I know, I would have Brother Harward as my teacher. I thought we would have the same teachers as before, but nope! Brother Harward is so funny, and he's a lot of fun to have for a teacher.
2nd Hour: Ha, I've always loved to have Burrows in an early class, and this is still relatively early I guess. We haven't warmed up at ALL this week, and it's kind of grating, but understandable seeing as we have our Salt Lake trip this Friday.
3rd Hour: I have to admit again, that I'd never met Mr. Perry until that day. He seems really nice, and his work isn't really that hard for me, thank goodness.
4th Hour: Nutrition and Foods, oh my goodness. I'm learning so much about food, it's ridiculous. Today (Thursday), we made some Quick Mix, which we'll use tomorrow to make cookies, EXCEPT I won't be there, because of Choir.
5th Hour: I got all my supplies and stuff, and I'm actually learning a few things already about Biology that I didn't previously understand.

Song-Of-The-Day: Titanium (ft. Sia) by David Guetta.

You shouted out, but I can't hear a word you say... I'm talking loud, not saying much.
I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet.
You shoot me down, but I get up.
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose.
Fire away, fire away.
Ricochet, you take your aim.
Fire away, fire away.
You shoot me down, but I won't fall.
I am Titanium.
You shoot me down, but I won't fall.
I am Titanium.

Cut me down, but it's you who have further to fall.
Ghost town, haunted love.

Let's just say this is how I feel right now. Just a little bit more sad than usual, I guess. (this is an understatement) Again, I'll repeat what I said earlier, "I'm at my emotional peak, and going to break soon." I'm just really stressed, and really getting worse at handling whatever comes my way.
I made a promise, a little over 7 months ago to Rebekah that I would not get a girlfriend until I was at least 16. I have kept this promise, every day, and I will continue to keep this promise.
I'm extremely happy for her, with her relationship with Dawson. I'm just glad that she can have such a great happiness in her life, and be who she wants to be around him.
As much as I miss her, and miss the love we shared... I'd rather her be happy with someone else, than stuck with not being able to see me, and all that stuff...


Shout-Outs-of-the-Day:Cade Davie: Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. But you're so awesome, dance with me maybe? Ha, I love how we are in the same group for Mr. RHS. You're REALLY good at dancing, and I think if we have to vote for one another, that I'd vote for you.
Katie Salvo: I really think you're an amazing person, and I appreciate all that you've ever helped me with. Just know that if you ever need a friend, ever need someone to talk to about anything, I can be there for you. You truly are a magnificent, intelligent, beautiful, and all-around great person, Katie. Most people need to realize that you're better than they think.
Rebekah Phillips: You know I love you, and you know that I'm always going to be here to fight for you. You know that no matter what happens, I'm still going to fight the temptations of the world, and strive to be the better person I can be. You are an inspiration to me, and to many. Just know you're still perfect to me, and I believe you always will be.


If you liked this, leave a comment! HAVE A NICE DAY! BLESS YOUR FACE, BLESS YOU! PEACE OFF!

And With Every Step We Make, I Die A Little More

Golly gee. Today has gone from being really emotional, to me just feeling down in the dumps. I understand that sometimes people don't want to hear about the way life is, or how horrible our world is now. But, it freaking sucks for you, because the world isn't getting any better and you need to realize it now. People will always be stupid, and people will always be judgmental and not give any bit of caring for what you have to say. You have to search for those people in your life who, even on the darkest of days, will stand up strong and tell you you're beautiful, that they love you, and that they don't care what people say about them. That they'll always strive to be a beacon of light, unto those that need a friend, unto those that need to be lifted out of the darkness they currently reside in.
There's only one thing that I can feasibly imagine is giving me strength to put this on, and that's the Holy Ghost. As much as I try not to post religious stuff anywhere on the internet, I just felt like today had to be an exception to that.
As some of you may already know, my sister is leaving in less than 3 weeks to go on her mission. I'm so proud to have her in my life. I'm going to miss her immensely. But I know she'll do such a good job out there in El Salvador, Santa Ana/Belize. She's been at college for the past three years of my life, and even though I haven't seen her very much in that time, me and her are still very close. She's the only sister I ever talk to. And she's one of the most important people in my life. Me and her always piss one another off, and sure, I joke around with her about a lot of things, but I love her all the same.

Yeah, I think one thing that sparked this, is getting shut down. Yeah, but whatever. I'm used to the rejection by now, I guess. Yeah, I can be depressing at times. I think I can be a bit of a good fake, sometimes.
I put on a big smile, and most everyone believes me when I say I'm completely okay. Only those that truly understand me have been able to see through my rouge and help me have a sincerely happy view on life and everything good about it. One of those people, is the love of my life, Rebekah Phillips. No matter how thick I try to hide my sadness over our breakup, even to this day, she can still tell something is wrong every time and just blatantly tell me to tell her what's wrong. I can't help it. As soon as she tells me to tell her, I cry. No one ever sees it, and almost no one ever knows about it. But I figure for those of you who actually read these and care about what I have to say would want to know more about me. Every night, no matter how good of a day I have, I'll cry. I'll wake up with red, sore eyes, and that's why I rub my eyes in 1st Hour everyday. Everyone's just like, "Oh, you're probably really tired." And then I'll say with a blank expression, "Yeah, you could say that!".
Besides that... today was just weird. I've felt the spirit more than usual today, and that's probably because of all the wonderful testimonies I got to hear today at church.
So yeah, this all came from being shut down. That goes to show you, that one person can influence your decisions.

Song-of-The-Post: Kyoto by Skrillex - I have no idea why this happened to be my song for now. I like the censored version I found on YouTube! I think I just like the dub step. (:

Shout-Out-Of-The-Post: Brianna Lee Mobley: You're epic, Brianna. Let's catch up shall we? We both sing, and you always ask me for a cover. (: I'm working on your cover, darling. Just you wait, it's coming up soon.
As a great comedian once said, "Bless your face. If you sneezed while watching this, bless you. PEACE OFF." Thanks, Tobuscus. SO, PEACE OFF!

Get On My Level and Lift

Sorry for the long pause again, this week was finals week and I was stressing over the finals I had to take.

Monday: I went with my great friend Jade to the Stop N' Go here in town and got the generic version of a Hostess Fruit Pie.It was actually pretty good, and not that expensive either. After we got back, we reminisced about how we miss Kai, who now lives in Utah, and how we wish we could still jam out with the guy. Had a bit of a breakdown, in the middle of 4th and 5th hour, and yet no one even noticed it. I'm amazed that no one noticed the shivering guy in the middle of class. But whatever, I can deal with that. I have Rebekah, and that's 1 out of 3 people I'll ever need in my life.
I also started playing Call of Duty: MW3 with my friend Gonzalo and he's really 'nice' to me when I start owning noobs with him, ha. These kids just need to get on my level, and lift.

Tuesday: Nothing different from Monday. I had another breakdown in the middle of 4th and 5th hour, but this time actually a couple of people saw it. They asked me if I was okay, and I said I wasn't.
Here's how the conversation went:
S: James, are you okay?
Me: No, I'm not, why?
S: I can tell, you're like shuddering and stuff.
M: Oh was I now? Umm, sorry, just a lot of things on my mind.
S: Well, do you want to talk about them?
M: Well, the only thing I feel at liberty to discuss, is this pain I feel everyday.
S: What's this pain?
M: Well, see, I'm in love with this girl, Rebekah Phillips, she's in the Junior High.
S: Oh, so it's a girl problem. I can understand that.
M: See, I really do love her, and... I miss her everyday.
B: James, how many times do I have to tell you that love doesn't exist at this age.
M: Bri, I've told you before, it can, and it does. Not once since our break-up have I deviated from loving her.
B: Well, I can see your point there. But how can you say it's love?
M: I know it is, because no one can make me as happy as she does.
B: What is it about her that you just can't let go?
S: Bri, maybe we shouldn't pester him so much.
B: No, I need to know this, otherwise I can't believe in him being in love.
M: Bri, to me, she's perfect and I can't stop thinking about her everyday. It's why I wear this necklace, because she said I could give it back to her when we get back together. It's my way of being able to be close to the girl I love the most without actually being with her.
B: That's so sweet, and I can actually say she's a lucky girl.
S: Wow James, I didn't know the story behind that washer on your necklace before.
Yeah, we're a crazy bunch and I love 'em. These guys know they can talk to me whenever they have a hard day or whatever. (:

Wednesday: Finals!!! Oh man, I had to get up early today and go to Mr. RHS sign-ups. I'm stoked and nervous about this, because I don't know what to do for my supposed talent. It's supposed to be a little funny, I guess? I'm thinking dance Gangnam Style or maybe I'll just play my new strange medley of It Will Rain, Someone Like You, and Secrets. Ha, I don't know. I have to be to practice every day next week, and I'm nervous.

Thursday: Don't have to be at school! :D I still came a little later so I could turn in the stuff for my Fundraiser.
Took me like... half an hour to get to there, but yeah. Ha, I four-wheeled to the school too, and I was scared about running out of gas! I got to the High School alright, and I got to sit next to Randi H! She's so amazing, and I got to show her my new 'medley' of sorts. It still needs a little work, but it's getting better. I'm leaning more towards using that instead of dancing for Mr. RHS.

Friday: No school for anyone in Rigby today. (: OH MAN, today was good!! Stayed home, played some CoD with Gonzalo, Cubzy, and Devon. Ha, we can be some righteous idiots sometimes. Just sitting there, telling the immature children who yell at us, to "Get on my level, kid." and "Do you even lift?". Ha, that's the reason I've started saying those phrases. Just making people rage all day.

Saturday: Ha, nothing much different, besides talking to Destaney on the phone about life and stuff, and me having a man to man talk with my dad about his dislike for Rebekah. I'm seriously done with the side comments that they think I don't notice. I do notice them, and it makes me feel sad/mad/empty inside. They can't support the thought of her, sometimes. I'm just done, so I'm planning to talk with both of them tomorrow, when we're all together at home.

Sunday: Lessons today were about Humility and Becoming Humble. I thought they were great, and they really brought me up! It's great to have Testimony meeting after such a long week of finals and stress.
I'm looking forward to The Walking Dead tonight at 7. It's one of my favorite shows, mainly for the story and for the zombies. I don't know what it is about zombies, but they get me all energized and sitting on the edge of my seat. I'll be having that talk soon with my parents. Oh man, I'm nervous, but I'm doing it. I have to do it, otherwise Rebekah will stay uncomfortable and I'm not having that if I can help it.
I love her, and I'm doing this mainly for her well-being, and also to stand up to my parents for myself. I'm tired of it all, and they need to know that she's a great person, and that I don't have this 'puppy love', as my dad calls it. I'm actually in love with her, and I'm going to stay faithful to that standard as long as I need to.



Song of the Day: The Fighter - Feat. Ryan Tedder (of One Republic) by Gym Class Heroes. For some reason, I kept hitting the replay button. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I really like this song.

Shout-Outs of the Day:
Rebekah Phillips: I love you, beautiful. I hope you're having a wonderful day, and I'm going to record the talk I have with my parents so you can actually hear what we say word-for-word. I'll try to get their verbal apologies, okay? Just know that I will always love you, and that you can always talk to me. I'm not just some guy who's leading you on. I truly do want everything for you, and you mean the world to me. "Where you go, I go. What you see, I see."
Angel Johnson: Ha, you're like one of my girl-best friends. I can always call you and talk to you about stuff, and I'm grateful for that. I'm looking forward to the 29th! STAKE DANCE! WOOO. Ha, anyways. Miss seeing you, and so does Des! Talk to her more often. (:

AS ALWAYS, HAVE A NICE DAY!

What A Week!

Oh man! Sorry guys, about not posting for a week! I've been caught up in writing a load of papers, and stuff!
Anyways, I guess I'll just recap on my short school week!

So first things first! Monday, Monday, MONDAY! Oh man, it was some day! For one thing, I overslept, and my mom had to take me to school for the first time in forever. Usually, I run like I'm on fire and make it to the bus stop.
After I got to Choir class, we immediately went into practicing our Christmas songs that we'll be singing in literally 2 and a half weeks from today in Salt Lake.
2nd Hour English: We started watching Julius Caesar, the movie. It's actually a very good movie! A little bit weird in some places, but very understandable and well done.
3rd Hour Intro-To-Agriculture: We had a guy from CANADA come and give us a PowerPoint on electricity.
4th Hour Seminary: Wonderful, just... wonderful. :'D
5th Hour AlgebraII: Ehh, you know. Just a math class!

TUESDAY!
1st Hour: Oh boy, I was shaking so bad! I was able to do my Comfort Zone project finally! I had to sing in front of the entire class. It's kind of ironic to me that I'm in Choir, but yet, I get very nervous to sing in front of people by myself!
2nd Hour: More of Julius Caesar, and covering the Study Guide for the movie.
3rd Hour: Nothing much else but a lecture about Electricity and stuff.
4th Hour: Oh my goodness, amazing! We played Scripture Bowling! Brother Hillam brought a Wii to class and every time someone answered a question right they could bowl!
5th Hour: Oh dear me, my teacher cannot be any sillier. Gave us a test, and I was like, "Woooooo! Easy stuff!", she gave me the look like, "Fine, you get the Calculus stuff next time!". I was laughing when I finished with 40 minutes left in class.

Wednesday!!!!
First day off of school for the Thanksgiving break! Started off rather normal, I guess! Woke up at like noon, and got ready for the day and stuff. And then my Mom wants me to come to I.F., so I'm not home alone? I'm like, "Whatever, I'll come!" Ha, as much as I don't like walking around the town and the mall, I love the food we get afterwards. Taco Bell 1/2 Pound Cheesy Potato Burritos, they will ALWAYS remain a favorite item on their menu.
Anyways, we went around and looked at clothes and stuff for Black Friday's deals. I'm more excited for the sales on the games and technology than I am for the sales on Food and Clothing.
When it comes to things I'd rather buy on sale, I'd rather choose games, since I'm going to start my YouTube gaming profile here sooner than later!

Anyways, I'm posting this on Thanksgiving, the wonderful once a year event where we get to eat lots of food and not feel bad about it! Ha, I'm just going to list a whole lot of the things I am thankful for in my life.
1. I'm thankful for Heavenly Father.
2. I'm thankful for Jesus Christ giving his life, so that we may join him once again in Heaven.
3. I'm thankful for the Priesthood which I hold the authority to use in the name of God.
4. I'm thankful for meeting Rebekah so early in my life.
5. I'm thankful that I was Rebekah's first boyfriend, kiss, etc..
6. I'm thankful that I'm still in love with her.
7. I'm thankful for the ability to talk to her at least once a day.
8. I'm thankful for the clothes on my back, and the home I live in.
9. I'm thankful for the food I eat, the exercise I'm able to do, and for the talents I've been given.
10. I'm thankful for the wonderful friends and family that support me in everything I do.
11. I am very thankful for the gift of tongues, the gift of compassion, of love, of understanding, of sympathy, and everything else that people find good in me.
12. I'm thankful that I am classified as the "Gentle Giant of Rigby High School".
13. I'm thankful for the wonderful teachers I've had, and I still have.
14. I'm thankful for Rebekah Phillips, Chelsea Moore, Katie Salvo, Joseph Salvo, and many others in my life.
15. I'm thankful for the wholesome video games I can play when I need a little uplifting moment in my life.
16. I'm thankful for the amount of musical ability I possess.
(Ha, there's SO many more, but I'm not going to lose your attention with more)

Shout-Outs of The Day:Marco Garcia: Ha, he's absolutely amazing! He raps, he does awesome stuff! He's the one who gave me the nickname, "Gentle Giant of Rigby High School!" He's one of the most real people I've ever met.
Jennifer Rawlins: She made my day yesterday when she personally took the time to write this on my timeline on Facebook, " Hello James, I would just like to let you know that your song in choir yesterday was super good! I was very impressed with how well you did! Good job!:)"I was SO happy when I read that! Thank you so much, Jennifer!
Last, but definitely NOT least of my shout-outs!
Rebekah Phillips: Ha, I love you SO much. I would do absolutely anything to be able to just hug you on this wonderful Thanksgiving Day. I hope you liked that metal I cut "I LOVE U" on! That was not an easy piece of metal to get out! Ha, and as much as you think I like Chelsea, let it be known, that I am NOT going to take any crazy step on her. And yes, I realize that's kind of what I said about us, but this time I'm positive that I will NOT make any moves on her.

Song(s) of The Day:
I Wish by One Direction! Rebekah introduced me to this song, and it seriously speaks my feelings every day.
I seriously hope that, one day, I can be her boyfriend again. And so what if people disagree with me being so committed? It's MY life, and I'm standing up for who I love and what I believe!
I will always stand by the fact that she IS the love my life! I truly believe it, and will not allow myself to love someone this much anytime soon.
Nothing anyone says will change me in that matter.



I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, and as always, HAVE A NICE DAY!

Can We Say Eventful?

I gotta admit, today was just strange to me. I woke up, and had to rush! I didn't have any time to eat breakfast, or anything! Was just waking up, cleaning up, and running out the door! I'm so proud of my friend, Jessica Christensen! She made honor choirs for All-Northwest!
And today when she came into Troylairs, she started playing Make You Feel My Love by Adele. It's a flipping amazing song, and I love it!

So, onto the serious stuff that's been on my mind. About an hour before I posted this, I found out my sister was in a car accident. She got hit by a Fed-Ex truck, but thankfully she wasn't hurt. Only thing damaged, was her truck. But, I'd appreciate if all my friends and family alike would pray for her. I know some of you already know, and I deeply appreciate your concern and love.
Another matter! Rebekah was sick today! Thankfully I was able to keep contact with her all day! Make sure she was doing okay at least, and I was just glad I could talk to her and keep her 'company'. I'm thankful to have her in my life, and that I can smile every time me and her talk.
The last matter! We had a CODE RED today at school! I was in the middle of seminary and I got a little freaked out!
Anyways... that's all the big stuff that happened today I guess! Oh, I almost forgot! I got two of the Rigby High Choir DVDs for my "wife". She gave me a big long hug, or at least let me hug her for a long time. xD

Two Shout-Outs of the Day!
Rebekah: I love you! I hope you feel better soon! Ha, I'm glad I got to talk to you a lot more today than usual! You always know how to make meh smile when I'm down in the dumps! We'll make a cover soon, I hope!
Jade Vecchio: You're so freaking awesome dude! Proud of you for making the basketball team! Ha, I love our lunch time Jam-Outs with Kai and Caitlyn! They're so much fun, and I love singing Radioactive with you!
You're so talented, bro!

Song-Of-The-Day!
I Wish by One Direction! It's just like the story of my life currently! Fits me perfectly! (thanks to Rebekah, for telling me about this, and making me cry after listening to it)

Until next time! Have nice day!

Things Happen!

Alright, today was kind of strange in some ways! Well, first I'm happy to say that you wonderful friends and fans have helped me achieve a milestone I never thought I'd reach within the first month, let alone the first two weeks. Over 200 views, in a little over a week! Great job everyone!
For one thing, all the people in the Troyplayers were dressed in their costumes for Peter Pan, and they will be for the rest of the week! I mean, some of the costumes are pretty good, but some of them are absolutely... interesting!
Anyways, onto the other important stuff! We got two more songs in Choir today, and boy are they getting harder! We're already a little loaded with 'Twas The Night Before Christmas, and the others!
I'm cramming into these next couple of weeks! We have like three weeks or so left in this trimester and I have to catch up and prepare for my finals! Also, I personally have three concerts in the next month! It's a lot of stuff to do! 1. Stake Christmas Performance, 2. Christmas in Temple Square, 3. Christmas Concert at RHS.
Yep! On the other hand, I've missed the Jam-Out-Session these past two days! I've been caught up in my work and stuff, but I think I'll be able to come tomorrow! I miss our absolute trance-like playing!

So, I've got a few shout-outs I have to make for today! These people were in my mind all day today, and I hope you all have wonderful lives ahead of today!

To Rebekah Phillips: I hope you're doing okay, and I hope you know that we(meaning me, and all my true friends) love you and wish you the best of things. I have a little surprise for you, next time we meet. ;) I hope to make it as nice as possible before then. Let's just say, it's a little something hand-crafted. I think it's about time that you get it. :3 Ha, and by the way, I think you're absolutely perfect and beautiful. <3 I seriously think we need to record a cover together. (: That would be absolutely epic!

To Chelsea Moore: Oh, wife. (: Where the fetch were you?! I was expecting you to give me a hug, for fetch's sake! Today was hectic, and I needed a hug! WUB-WUB-WUB! Dubstep is awesome! I got nothing else to say, GURRRL! (hahaha, inside joke)
To Katie Salvo: Oh Katie! Ha, you're so intelligent, and I'm glad to call you one of my best friends ever. I don't know what life would be like without you and Joe! I'm so glad we only live down the road from one another! I'm going to absolutely hate it when/if you guys move! I'm grateful for the insightful talks we can have for hours! I get to learn so much every time! And I especially love the strange ones we have, just like Friday's talk!
To Randi Hepworth: Randi, you're an amazing person! I love how you've supported me in everything I've done, and you understand who I write my sweet messages for. You haven't judged me once! I truly appreciate our friendship, and the immense musical talents we hold between the two of us! Ha, we need to do some recording or something, because I think that would be really cool!

(dedicated to all my friends! If I didn't a shout-out for you, it doesn't mean I care less about you, it just means you get one later on!)

Another Week Started! WEEK 1

Well, today was a little hectic but a lot of fun in some places!
Straight off, Choir was absolutely amazing today! We brought out our Christmas spirits a bit more than last week, and really did a lot better on our parts than in previous practices. 'Twas The Night Before Christmas is like THIRTY-TWO pages long, but it sure is a load of fun!
Ha, all those Christmas songs in both Choirs I'm in are a lot of fun! I get to sing loud, proud, and with happiness in my soul.

Ha, anyways... today was just so eventful, it was quite amazing really! I felt bad though! I didn't get to go hang out and jam with Kai and Jade today! I was just wandering the halls with an old, 'friend', that still cares about me regardless of all the crap we've been through all these years. I love my guy-friend, Corey Bills! He paid for my lunch today, because I got an extra helping, so he paid the dollar, 40-cents that was needed. I felt so bad for having him pay it for me, but he was so willing, and I didn't want to be rude! I really appreciate all the support people have given me these past few months. It really means a lot, and I love you all. A shout out to Rebekah Phillips, Chelsea Moore, Sydney Jones, Emily Vecchio, Jade Vecchio, Morgan Vecchio, McKenna Coles, Chelsea Moon, McKenzie Spencer, Randi Hepworth, Destaney Handy, Madison Ziegler, Katherine French, Julia Mickelsen, Adrianna Foster, Katie Salvo, and Joseph Salvo. (if I missed anyone, I deeply apologize! I only listed the people I thought of at this moment)
You all mean so much to me, and hold a special place in my heart. I love the times we've all shared, and I wish you all a happy future! (:

To my best friend in the whole wide world, and the one girl I'll always love, no matter the circumstance.
I love you so much, and I hope when you read this it brings a smile to your face. You matter the most to me, and I know that many people will agree with me when I say that you are a wonderful example to others. You represent so many good things in this world. To me, you represent Kindness, Beauty, Perfection, and many others... Sure, I know you disagree with me whenever I tell you that you're perfect, but to me you truly are. There's nobody in this world I'd rather spend all my living moments with, than you. There's nothing more important to me, than your happiness and your safety. I promise you, with all my integrity, my honor, and my heart, mind/soul, that I will forever be yours and be here for you, in some manner. You are the R to my J. The Jessie to my James. If you were a Pokemon, I would always choose you. If it were you, and a million dollars, I would still pick you. Love is a priceless feeling that can not be replaced when it is true.
So again, here's to you, the love of my life. The bringer of happiness, and the bane of strife.
Forever your knight in vigil, and forever frozen in Carbonite(if you understand the reference).


So, good night everyone. I hope you all have a wonderful rest, and hope you all have a wonderful rest of the week.
SO, as always! Have Nice Day! (FPSRussia started that with me)

(dedicated to my biggest inspiration, Rebekah Phillips.)

7th Day, and Loving It!

Ha, today was actually pretty nice! All except for the fact that I offended someone and lost a 'friend'.
But apparently, they weren't a real 'friend' in the first place. Sorry, their loss, not mine.
Anyways! We had wonderful lessons in our Sunday School today, and I love our teacher so much. He really gets emotional, and whenever he cries, I just have to cry with him!
I've seen enough crying, emotional grief, and stuff today to last me a lifetime, but life has only just begun for me. I'm only 15 for Pete's sake, and I've got so much left to experience and live through. They say life is short, and that we should enjoy what youth we have, while we can still have it.
Yeah, it's very true. Life passes us by so fast, and we don't even know it sometimes. It seems like just yesterday that I was starting 9th Grade. And now look, we're 2 months into my 10th Grade year.
I say, we have to live life to the fullest possibilities right now while we still have the energy and freedom too. I mean, try to look ahead a few more years. Most of us will probably be working hard to try and support ourselves in the ever-growing harder economy. Or even some of us will be paying for a college of our choice. But seriously, think about it. Life doesn't get handed to us on a silver platter. We have to actually work for what we want, and for what we truly love.
As it is said, "The greatest things, are not easy". I'm not sure who said that, but it's completely true. I like to use the example in what I think about every day. I love Rebekah more than anything in this world, and loving her itself has been easy. Staying faithful to that, and fulfilling the promises I've made to her and many others, that's been the hardest part. I mean, if you can't even keep the promises you make to one person you deeply care about, what makes you think keeping promises to those you hardly associate with will be any different?
I love thinking on past conversations when it comes to days like these. (: Wonderful days, cold winter days.
Even if I'm not the biggest fan of the winter cold, I'm especially a fan of remembering times during 9th grade when it was freezing and I could hold Rebekah's hand, and keep her warm. I like thinking of all our times singing with one another, and making cutesy love notes to each other. If only I still had the notes... If only my mother hadn't taken them and done who knows what with them.
If I had them, I would be much more sane, because yes. I stay sane by thinking of the past. Sure, people say to look forward, and forget the past, because it's the past. But I say, the past is what makes us who we are sometimes. I don't want to ever forget my past, and all those memories I have. Especially the moments I have with Rebekah.

To Bek: When you read this, just know that I'm never giving up, and that I am forever waiting for you. I'll be that knight standing vigil at his post, until he finally gets the orders to move. Nothing anyone ever says will change how I feel about you. You are my one, and my only true love. I truly mean it, and again, I will always stand for what is right.
To Chelsea: Yes, I know you're trying to protect me, because you love me and want to keep me away from being crushed. I admire that you care so much about me, and just know that I listen to your opinions, and I'm not just letting it fly over me. I appreciate you taking time out of your life to even listen to me. Most people hardly ever do, or if they do, they haven't shown it yet.

(dedicated to my inspirations, and to all my loved ones)
So until next time! HAVE NICE DAY!

BONUS POST! =_=

This is some poetry I wrote one day. Not that long ago, and just thought I would get some feedback as to whether or not I should write more!?

You haven't seen my cry,
but once or twice.
But seeing you happy,
makes me happy times thrice.

You are the sunshine,
and the happiness.
But without you,
my world is nothing but darkness and loneliness.

I apologize for making your life so miserable.
But without you,
my life turns terrible.

 Being the sweet and sensitive guy,
never felt so joyful.
Until I realized that I had no reason,
to be regretful.

So here's to you,
the love of my life.
The bringer of happiness,
the bane of strife.

-James W. Facer

So yeah! That's what I wrote!
Feedback? Comment please. (:

Never Been This Bad Before

Well, today started pretty normal I guess. I was woken up by home noises like people talking, vacuums, and stuff. My whole family, except me, went to the temple to get their endowments. I'm not 'supposed' to go because I'm not old enough yet. Kind of sucked for most of the day.
I stayed home and played Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, pretty much all day I guess. It had been 4 months previous to my last time even touching the game, and now I understand why.
Way back, probably 6 months ago, I had found a way to rename one character, and ONE character only in the game. And of course it figures that I would marry this character in the game. I renamed this character, Rebekah, and figures that she would be the one companion you can have that can actually die in game.
So, what happened, is I went on the final main quest and brought her with me, because I've never had her get even close to dying. So, when I finally arrived to killing the final boss, he went after Rebekah in game and basically threw her across the flipping world. I just stood there in complete shock and awe, that some easy enemy could just end the little fantasy I had in my mind.
Sure, it seems dang silly for me to get that attached to an artificial personage and all, but do I care what anyone calls me when I tell people about it? Not really.
I love Rebekah... more than anything in this slowly-corrupting world. She's the one who brings the real happiness into my life. The one and only girl I'd love to marry someday... and yes, I truly mean that.
Again, most people just think I'm stupid for believing that someone I meet at this age could be my eternal partner in life. But I say, that I believe in the Gospel. I believe that I feel closer to our Heavenly Father every time I'm with her. She helps me live my standards, and she helps me stay true to what I really believe in.
Back to the character named after her. Instead of fighting the final boss today when I played again, I just went back to doing normal quests. She stayed at home, safe and sound, and I went and provided to keep her healthy and fed. It reminds me of the future I can kind of imagine... Me and my silly imagination.
Just playing a game, and wishing it was how real life could be.

So, that was how eventful my Saturday was! Yeah, it's a bit much. But today was really hard.
I love talking to her, as much as I can. I love how she can bring me out of the depression that I can feel on certain days. She can just bring back a smile to my face, in the simplest and smallest of ways.
I was on the verge of tears, and just depressed as can be... She asked me if I was okay, and then I just broke down and she brought me back up by talking to me about everything. She can just tell, somehow, when I'm down, sad, and/or depressed.
(dedicated to those of you can even make me smile with just a "Hello." or a "Are you okay?")

Day Four: Exciting, Stressful, and Tired

Friday! Friday! Friday is my favorite day! Monday is a bummer, Tuesday's only fair, Wednesday's getting closer, and Thursday's almost there... BUT! Friday! Friday! Friday is my favorite, Friday is my favorite, Friday is my favorite day!

I almost always love Fridays, especially the evenings. I just get to recap the day with my best friends in this whole world. I got to hang out at my best guy friend's house today, Joey, and his intelligent and amazing sister, Katie. Played some Dark Souls, Fallout 3, and just watched some funny YouTube videos that he hadn't seen yet. I love how I started dancing Gangnam Style right in their house. xD Especially the Zumba version of it!

So, we had a Veteran's Day Assembly today, and the Rigby Choirs were singing in it. Actually, for some reason I could hear myself, and I felt a little more confident singing with the band playing behind us. I take bigger breaths, use faster air, and have a controlled volume for some reason when we play with them!

So, I actually started crying today. A couple of times, actually. Mainly, for the armed forces salute at school, but the most important thing I cried for is Rebekah. Sure, some people would think I'm stupid because I cry over a girl, or they would call me whipped. I admit it, I'm whipped, and I always will be for her. I always talk about her with my friends in classes and stuff, and just mention all the cute stuff we used to do... and then get tears in my eyes when I just start laughing sadly. You know? Just staring at the ground, and thinking about things that you love and remember so well, and then letting tears just well up?
Yeah, when all the guys in my Welding class call me whipped, I just tell them, "Hey, at least I actually care about someone. Unlike you unhappy people." Most of them look away, but the few that actually have any guts will retort with, "I do care about someone!".
But whatever! I love Rebekah Phillips, and nothing will ever change that for me.
Screw the people who don't believe in ever-lasting love, who don't believe in any kind of feelings, and who just thing life hates them because of the things that happen to them, based on past choices.

*sigh* <3 Just an every day thing. Has been for a little more than 6 months. No one really ever knows... Almost no one has ever seen me cry. I cry more than once a day, but who cares? Yeah, one person knows, and that's my Heavenly Father above, and Jesus Christ too. They've carried me through this hard time, and I hope they can bring me back to her one day...
I love you, Rebekah. This is for you. <3

(dedicated especially for Rebekah, tonight)

Day Three

Well hey again, it's me, James! I hope you all had a wonderful Wednesday! I can sure say mine was rather eventful! No usual boring day for me!
So, it started out like a usual day, I guess. But our excellent Choir teacher, Mr. Gideon Burrows has been gone for family reasons all week! I'm not the only concerned person in his classes, that is for sure. Everyone freaks out whenever he isn't there to teach! Even when we have a great student teacher from BYU-Idaho, Ms. Stephanie Dalton!
So, Choir class today was a bit hectic to learn anything, at least in the bass and alto sections that we could hear.
2nd Hour English was just usual reading, small assignment prep, and then relaxing while reading some more.
3rd Hour was rushed by. We're getting ready for our final welding test next week, and all the booths were full with people so I could even practice my welds!
Lunch was absolutely amazing! An old friend of mine, Houston Fallis, decided to bring his full custom drum set and jam out with us! So, we had extremely loud drums playing, and our Ukelele, Guitar, and Piano trying to even match the volume! Houston is really good at the drums, and I hope he comes back to play with us as often as he can.
4th Hour Seminary was quite nice with a lesson involving King Benjamin and how he believes kings and all leaders should act and such.
5h Hour AlgebraII, I actually worked and finished my assignment before class was even over! (LIKE A BOSS) Wrote a note, listened to my Lindsey Stirling dubstep music, and just felt calmed by her violin playing. (:

So, yeah! School went really well today! I hope everyone's day went absolutely great!
Also, I dug out my guitar from my basement and tuned it all up! I'm finally going to take up learning how to play that as well! Just add a little oomph to my repertoire of instruments, you know?
ANYWAYS! That's all I have for today! So, everyone have a good night, and I will see you next time!
As always, have nice day.

(special thanks to Chelsea, Rebekah, Ashlee, Morgan, and others for making my days great, and inspiring me to write these blogs!)

Second Day

So today was pretty good I guess! I was really tired today though. I nearly fell asleep in a couple of my classes and it was kind of embarrassing! Ha, how much hugging can one guy endure in the same day?
My 'wife' is absolutely amazing! She knows how much I love and care about Rebekah. I love how honest I can be with both her and Rebekah and they don't judge. They just support me and make me feel so loved. (:
And yes, I use smiley faces in random text. It's a bit of a habit, and I don't do it when I try to look professional. (:
This is a personal blog though, so, frankly, professionalism is not the most important thing on my mind.

Anyways, today was just a normal day, if anything. School, lunch, jam out, seminary, test in Algebra. Eh, nothing out of the ordinary, except that I learned how to I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz on the Ukelele, and it was just me messing around with the same string! I always love playing this Celtic tune with the Cajon drum. I just kind of invent a beat that I figure sounds right to go with that style of music. I truly appreciate all my friends at school, and all the people in my life. Sure I appreciate some, a little more than others, but that's because I've been around them more often and gotten to know the things they do for those they care about.
Today's post won't be so long, because the only things that were super eventful today, was being hugged a lot by my 'wife', Chelsea. <3 (: Love you, Chelsea. Ha, you know how to make my day great!

So, until next time! Thank you all, for whoever reads these. HAVE NICE DAY!

(special thanks to Rebekah, Chelsea, Morgan, Julia, and anyone else who knows I love them! ;'3)

First Day Blogging

November 5th, 2012:

Most Beautiful Girl In My Eyes

Well, today has gone by at the usual rate. Wake up, go to school, go to first class, and so on. I've been worrying about one person in particular. That's Rebekah Phillips. The love of my life, and the girl I would do absolutely anything for.
I don't give a flying fetch what people think of me for saying I'm in love everyday. Frankly, anyone who says that love can't exist between two people at such an age as ours, then apparently you haven't truly felt happiness or love like I have.

I was told, just yesterday, that she's possibly moving to Korea... I mean, seriously? When I heard this news, it felt like I'd just been shot in the leg! I mean, I LOVE her! More than anything.
It already hurts being separated from her every day now. It hurts knowing that I might never get to be with her ever again. But it just makes me happy that she's exploring the things in life, and having a good time with the friends that she can actually see all the time.
Yeah, it kills me slowly to let her go, but as Jess Lair said, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was yours. If it doesn't, then it never was.  If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."
Almost nobody that I know, can understand that I'm not going to give up. I'm not just some other guy, who messes with girls feelings and gets them to love him and then break their hearts.
No, I actually return the feelings, however long it is, and make them feel loved, and make them realize that they actually are someone of importance to the world.

Enough of the mushy mushy love stuff, I guess. I don't want to push you guys away with just my first post!

Today was okay, to say the least. The past, I'm going to guess, month and half maybe, I go into our seminary building and 'jam out' with my friends Kai, Jade, Caitlyn and even sometimes my friend Emily V. All of them can sing pretty good. We like playing the Ukelele, the Piano, the Cajon drum, the Violin, the Viola, the Cello, the Guitar, and sometimes a little handmade percussion. We play a lot of random songs most days, but one song we all play once-in-a-while is Secrets by One Republic. It's a lot of fun to just get into it and not even care about who walks in the room. I honestly love being around these people! They bring such a light into the room, and they do all the right things! I'm seriously going to miss Kai when he moves. That, and Jade can get his mission call soon! Man, it sure makes it seem like time is just flying by!

So to all you people who say that life sucks for you. I have one thing to say, and that is "Go try something new, that you fear trying because of society. If you have never failed at something, you've never tried. Sure, you'll fail a time or two, or maybe more, but that's part of growing up and getting better at things! You can't just do it once, and say you did your best! If you did your best, you'd keep on going, and not let anything get in your way!"

So, I hope I didn't bore you all with my day. I'm going to keep on doing these, as often as I can!
So, until next time, have a nice day!
(much thanks to Rebekah, Chelsea, Morgan, and others)