Golly gee. Today has gone from being really emotional, to me just feeling down in the dumps. I understand that sometimes people don't want to hear about the way life is, or how horrible our world is now. But, it freaking sucks for you, because the world isn't getting any better and you need to realize it now. People will always be stupid, and people will always be judgmental and not give any bit of caring for what you have to say. You have to search for those people in your life who, even on the darkest of days, will stand up strong and tell you you're beautiful, that they love you, and that they don't care what people say about them. That they'll always strive to be a beacon of light, unto those that need a friend, unto those that need to be lifted out of the darkness they currently reside in.
There's only one thing that I can feasibly imagine is giving me strength to put this on, and that's the Holy Ghost. As much as I try not to post religious stuff anywhere on the internet, I just felt like today had to be an exception to that.
As some of you may already know, my sister is leaving in less than 3 weeks to go on her mission. I'm so proud to have her in my life. I'm going to miss her immensely. But I know she'll do such a good job out there in El Salvador, Santa Ana/Belize. She's been at college for the past three years of my life, and even though I haven't seen her very much in that time, me and her are still very close. She's the only sister I ever talk to. And she's one of the most important people in my life. Me and her always piss one another off, and sure, I joke around with her about a lot of things, but I love her all the same.
Yeah, I think one thing that sparked this, is getting shut down. Yeah, but whatever. I'm used to the rejection by now, I guess. Yeah, I can be depressing at times. I think I can be a bit of a good fake, sometimes.
I put on a big smile, and most everyone believes me when I say I'm completely okay. Only those that truly understand me have been able to see through my rouge and help me have a sincerely happy view on life and everything good about it. One of those people, is the love of my life, Rebekah Phillips. No matter how thick I try to hide my sadness over our breakup, even to this day, she can still tell something is wrong every time and just blatantly tell me to tell her what's wrong. I can't help it. As soon as she tells me to tell her, I cry. No one ever sees it, and almost no one ever knows about it. But I figure for those of you who actually read these and care about what I have to say would want to know more about me. Every night, no matter how good of a day I have, I'll cry. I'll wake up with red, sore eyes, and that's why I rub my eyes in 1st Hour everyday. Everyone's just like, "Oh, you're probably really tired." And then I'll say with a blank expression, "Yeah, you could say that!".
Besides that... today was just weird. I've felt the spirit more than usual today, and that's probably because of all the wonderful testimonies I got to hear today at church.
So yeah, this all came from being shut down. That goes to show you, that one person can influence your decisions.
Song-of-The-Post: Kyoto by Skrillex - I have no idea why this happened to be my song for now. I like the censored version I found on YouTube! I think I just like the dub step. (:
Shout-Out-Of-The-Post: Brianna Lee Mobley: You're epic, Brianna. Let's catch up shall we? We both sing, and you always ask me for a cover. (: I'm working on your cover, darling. Just you wait, it's coming up soon.
As a great comedian once said, "Bless your face. If you sneezed while watching this, bless you. PEACE OFF." Thanks, Tobuscus. SO, PEACE OFF!
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